Thanksgiving 531-550

531. Conversations with F, and how she always makes me laugh!
532. Conversations with my cousin, and that she might come visit us this summer!
533. Remembering things that happened this summer, and how wonderful they were
534. Friends being nearby
535. The chance of seeing S soon
536. God never being surprised by what is going to happen
537. School to do, even this much
538. Charles G. Finney, and how even he was part of God's plan for the world
539. Preterism and postmillennialism, and all they mean for my life
540. Church tonight
541. Dad being home
542. The rain last night
543. The warmth outside
544. Watching End of the Spear
545. Nate Saint and Jeremiah Small, and how their stories were different in a good way
546. Esther O., and how I can miss her because I like her a lot :)
547. TB, and how this little boy has blessed, challenged, and cheered me
548. Being called to let things go
549. Knowing the right thing to do
550. Strength and grace to do the difficult things

Thanksgiving 511-530

511. The note from Joel, and the hilarious difficulty of answering it.
512. Rachel finding the note I was supposed to deliver but lost, and the laughter about that
513. Being loved
514. Patient friends
515. Writing assignments being easier after reading a rhetoric book
516. Cruising through school after a lot of hard school days
517. Normality
518. Dad eating lunch with us!
519. Playing for church two weeks in a row, and NOT being nervous!!!
520. Sarah getting everything figured out, and OK
521. Having a favorite book sitting by my bed :)
522. The kids at church who smile and follow me around
523. The jokes at elder class last night
524. Tiny snowflakes of which you can just see the detail
525. Not being "snowed in". HA!
526. Hugs for a cuddly Hosea
527. The music for an upcoming concert
528. Mom's "holstein" sweater!
529. Always having pictures
530. Rousseau getting some things right, and how now I can understand our current political affairs better

On Wassup...

My dad was laid off from his job on Wednesday. They escorted him out of the high-security part of the building, and he came home to begin searching again. Four years ago, this month, my dad was laid off in Oregon, and after 11 months of searching we moved here to Ohio. Then the blame was on the recession; now the blame falls easily on whoever is making (or not making) decisions in Washington, and making military contractors' jobs unsure. That's easy. Easy to point at them and say, "you did this."

But they're not ultimately the ones who killed my dad's job. God did. God took my dad's job from him, put him on the unemployment list, and made us wonder where we'll live in the next year. God hurt our economy, God put unwise men in charge of our country. And He did it sinlessly!

I don't want a God Who allows bad things to happen.

"Darn, well, I'll allow it this time."

I want a God Who plans the bad things that happen–perfectly, sinlessly.

It is no comfort to say that God allowed my dad to lose his job.

"It might turn out OK."

It is a comfort to know that God made this happen. Because He is perfect, sinless, and all-wise, the things that He plans that hurt us the most can only be for His glory and the ultimate good of His church.

So He can move us, bend us, break us, kill us, and yet He is GOOD.

Now to believe this enough to be happy about this turn of events....

On When School is the Last Thing on Your Mind..

There are days like today when socks won't match, and Dad comes home early from work, and there's news that makes you reel.

But it's an adventure. And more than that, it's a story being written by a perfect God.

That's what I'm learning today.

On Why I Want To Be Like Mom...

I came down the stairs and stood near my mom while I folded towels. I asked her how to feel, and how to respond to shootings on both coasts, one day apart, and how they both hurt.

While what she said was important, I learned more from what she did.

I've learned from watching that there are several types of reactions to death and horror.

There are the ones who point fingers and blame politics and look for answers in human institutions. They rant and shoot off fiery darts with their tongues (and fingertips on the web).

And how does Mom respond to that? "Stay off the Internet. Let this die, and then get back on." Because this doesn't help.

There are the ones who moan and blame God and then deny His existence. If we don't like His will, we don't want Him. I know people like this, too, and asked if I can worry about them. Mom said no, they're in God's hands, and don't I trust Him?

There are the ones who say they'll hug their kids closer, and they leave unsaid the thoughts about how they don't think about God being the God in control of their children's lives, and how even if they were killed, GLORY TO GOD. Because that's really hard to say. And I wonder what their babies think about this sudden dose of affection, and has it lasted the weeks? And my mom, does she hug us more? No, because she's too busy pounding out the dough and stirring the soup that will keep us feed. She's too busy teaching us what we really need to know, that the world just won't tell us. She's too busy hugging us when we need to cry, not when it eases her guilt. She's too busy showing us how to live and die.

This woman who adopted us formed us more than our flesh-and-blood mothers did. She is busy making our lives and lifting us up. She is busy guiding our souls to the light.

She knows that we are in God's hands, and that if that's where we are, we all ought to be willing and ready to die. Whether it's in a bloody accident, a cancer ward, or every morning when we get up and are called to die to ourselves and to sin. We are following the crucified One Who lives, and so there's no real pain in death.

I want to be like her, and joyful no matter what the world and other Christians are shouting. I want to be too busy making lives and making dinner to doubt my end and goal.


"I know that you knew--
You raised us to leave you;
Raised us to run,
With the wind at our backs.

I know that you knew--
What your love would do;
Send us out sailors,
With the wind at our backs.

And your love always carried us."

~Christa Wells, Oh Your Love

On Bengal Football and Changed Attitudes...

This afternoon the house is quiet, and after cleaning and sewing, I'm watching the Cincinnati Bengals play in the playoffs. I haven't watched them since their first game of the season--late summer.

They played very poorly that day, but they must have improved, because they're here at the playoffs.

I've changed, too. The circumstances of today are surprisingly similar to the last day I watched them play, but so much has changed.

Last game (that I watched), my friend Sarah was about to leave Ohio for college, and I really only watched because a friend joked that it would help me not be sad, and I was curious if it would. I spent the game chatting online with Sarah, and it really did help! Today Sarah is again close to leaving. Her break is nearly over, and I get to see her one more time before she goes back.

I will miss her, but God changed me this year. I've learned that making more friends is a good thing. I've learned to be outgoing, and that thinking about others DOES help get my mind off of my troubles (thanks, Mom, I know you've told me that before :).

I'm able to watch the Bengals without thinking of crying, and I know that everything will be okay.

I know that friends are not always physically near, but as Sarah said, I would rather make friends and say goodbye to them than never meet them.

But who knows about those Bengals...