"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth... And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace. For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ."
~John 1: 14,16,17
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Saturday, December 22, 2012
On Waiting...
Lately I've been waiting and wondering what exactly to do. No, no, I'm not bored, but rather I have SO much in school and in relationships that moves my thoughts and confuses my mind. I start to think that maybe God wants to keep my attention, and so He surprises me over and over again.
Or maybe I can't help but be surprised, because I'm human. I start to wonder what He wants me to know, so I read the Word and pray and talk too much about myself (sorry Mom). Thank you, to my friends who have listened and talked with me.
I've been listening to an arrangement of Psalm 40 a lot recently, and this has challenged me:
"I waited patient for the Lord,
He bowed to hear my cry.
He saw me resting on His Word,
And brought salvation nigh."
Does God see me resting on His Word? Or am I worrying and complaining?
"My God beholds my heavy woe,
And bares me on His heart".
Or maybe I can't help but be surprised, because I'm human. I start to wonder what He wants me to know, so I read the Word and pray and talk too much about myself (sorry Mom). Thank you, to my friends who have listened and talked with me.
I've been listening to an arrangement of Psalm 40 a lot recently, and this has challenged me:
"I waited patient for the Lord,
He bowed to hear my cry.
He saw me resting on His Word,
And brought salvation nigh."
Does God see me resting on His Word? Or am I worrying and complaining?
"My God beholds my heavy woe,
And bares me on His heart".
Thursday, December 20, 2012
On Finishing the To-Do List...
I told you that I would explain what's been going on around here. I told you that, and then more happened, and I never did.
So here's the biggest thing: School. School has finally caught up with me and kept me working from when I wake up to when I fall into bed.
Various strugglings of my own have left me too overwhelmed to write. I've been rocked, but God has been merciful, so I can write again.
So here I am, back, and excited about writing more. I've missed the time on here.
501. The church FB
502. Not needing to be perfect, but grace-covered
503. Sanctification being a process that I can take part in and embrace
504. Christmas shopping, and how I've done none so far, but get to start tomorrow
505. Caroling last night, and the conversations and hot chocolate afterwards
506. What Mrs. P said that made me blush, laugh, and made my day
507. Finishing two school books, and several tests
508. An unexpected good score on a spontaneous test
509. Getting to see LN and F before too long
510. Rain on my window...just like Portland
So here's the biggest thing: School. School has finally caught up with me and kept me working from when I wake up to when I fall into bed.
Various strugglings of my own have left me too overwhelmed to write. I've been rocked, but God has been merciful, so I can write again.
So here I am, back, and excited about writing more. I've missed the time on here.
501. The church FB
502. Not needing to be perfect, but grace-covered
503. Sanctification being a process that I can take part in and embrace
504. Christmas shopping, and how I've done none so far, but get to start tomorrow
505. Caroling last night, and the conversations and hot chocolate afterwards
506. What Mrs. P said that made me blush, laugh, and made my day
507. Finishing two school books, and several tests
508. An unexpected good score on a spontaneous test
509. Getting to see LN and F before too long
510. Rain on my window...just like Portland
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Joplin Strong (The Contest Assignment)
Esther O. asked me to write a creative, non-fiction story. It took me a long time to decide what to write about. Not a lot happens to me that's worth really writing about, but there is one thing that I mention frequently on here, and I think this would be a great time to give you all the whole story. Here 'tis:
I awoke in the hotel, sore. It was like many other hotels my family has stayed in, but the atmosphere was entirely different. I rolled over and grabbed my iPod, quickly shutting off the alarm that had awakened me. I grabbed my clothes, freshly washed the night before. It was early, and we were in a hurry--we would be in the hotel lobby eating breakfast before most people had taken their showers. As I slipped my tank top on, I wished I too could take a shower. My muscles ached and the blisters on my hands had popped. After two days laying a block foundation in the heat of summer, I was more than ready for some lighter work. I stepped out onto the balcony of our hotel and looked at the sky. The sky in Joplin, Missouri is gorgeous, especially as the sun is rising.
We arrived at the work site before eight AM. The truck that Mike and Dawn drove was there already and they were busy setting up for the day. We grabbed our work gloves and water bottles. We had a donated case of water in our trunk, and we each drank about four or five bottles per day. My mom had told us that today would be the hottest of the week, and it was already over eighty degrees, so we slathered our already peeling arms with sunscreen. The work site was on a bare ridge and consisted of the scant frame of a house. Our job was to continue building the frame, add the second floor, as well as window frames. I worked the table saw, cutting boards to fit the holes John, my dad, and Mike measured.
As I cut and carried boards, sweat soaking my gloves, I thought about the past few days, and everything we had seen and learned. Driving into Joplin, it had looked like a normal town, but as we drove beyond the hotel, we saw a giant scar across the main area of the town, a sign of the terrible tornado that had blown through over a year before. There was an unnatural bareness in this area, and what buildings were there were brand new. Over three hundred families, Dawn had said--three hundred still without homes. There were walls and dead trees that had been painted bright colors, and the word "hope" was written on nearly everything. The local Walmart (newly rebuilt) sold T-shirts that declared "I am JOPLIN STRONG!" And that's what the people in Joplin are--strong.
Mike and Dawn were a mission-couple. They have helped rebuild various parts of America that were destroyed by natural disasters, and their camper was parked in the yard of a Joplin resident. I looked over at Mike, who was sitting in the shade of a canopy drinking a Coke. He was supposed to rest frequently, as he was still in recovery from a surgery he had undergone three weeks before, and was preparing to have a new pacemaker installed. Dawn was careful to remind him of this when his enthusiasm for his job pushed him too hard. I went back to work and thought about the hospitals on the other side of the ridge; one a skeleton, and one a large campus of buildings and tents. I carried another board over to my brother as Mike stood up to work.
We continued working for another half hour. The temperature had already lifted above ninety degrees, and lunch time was still far off. I took a drink of the lemonade Dawn had brought and cut a board for my dad. I crossed it off the list I had written of the various lengths they needed, and carried it over. I saw Mike lying on his back, and I assumed he was measuring the gap underneath the window in what was to be the kitchen. Dawn stood next to him, saying a number. I was confused when I noticed she was speaking into a cell phone. Why would she say the measurement to someone over the phone? Then Mike groaned, and my dad and brother dropped down beside him. My brother was holding his hand. I ran back to my mom and Tim and told them what was happening. We sat on the cement and prayed, hard, that his heart would beat strong and the ambulance would arrive soon. Dawn asked me to soak a rag to put on Mike's forehead, and I hurried to do it. Then they sent me to the corner to direct the ambulance to the bare site. I stood in the road and prayed. It was a short while before the sirens signaled the approach of the ambulance, but every minute worried me, and I was close to tears. When it arrived I headed back up to where Dawn was standing. She wanted me to use her phone to call the pastor of the Joplin PCA.
Mike was taken to the hospital over the ridge, and Dawn followed in their pickup. We delivered their dog to neighbors, and then headed home to the hotel to eat lunch. That afternoon, we drove into Kansas and Oklahoma, and then ate dinner at the PCA. Then we drove to the hospital and visited Mike and Dawn. The doctors had yet to figure out the problem, and Mike was in a lot of pain. We returned to our hotel, where I talked to a dear friend online. I wrote to a couple of friends, and then went to bed. We were all exhausted.
The next day there was nothing to do but head home. We stayed one night in Branson, Missouri, and drove the rest of the way the following day. We received emails throughout both days concerning Mike's condition, and while he was stable, it would be a long time before the complications from his past surgery healed. Dawn told us that the doctors thought it would be about six months before he could return to work. It was hard to leave, but at the same time, home seemed more attractive than ever. We arrived late at night, and sleep was quick to come.
Six weeks later, Mike returned to work. His body was healed remarkably fast, and both the sites we worked on are, at this time, close to being completed. Praise be to God, Who works all things for His glory and the good of his people!
God bless Joplin!
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Monday, December 10, 2012
Sorry, To-Do, and Thanksgiving List 501-521
Hi,
Sorry it's been too long since I wrote. Almost half a month, and no thanksgiving, or writing, or pictures. I'm ashamed. However, tests in school being done, I'm back on the straight and narrow blogging path, and will try to stay there. To help, I've amassed a to-do list:
1. Write the Contest assignment (sorry, Esther, I HAVEN'T forgotten)!
2. Explain what's been going on over here
3. Continue the list
Here's the beginning of my completing #3:
501. An email from the Peyback Foundation
502. Possibly a Manning poster for Joel
503. My favorite singer helping me get the Bronco's attention
504. Joel's surgery going well!
505. Hugging H while she cries and her thanking me ("for making you CRY?!?")
506. Pastor's terrible "grave" jokes
507. Knowing what to think about controversial books
508. The new Owl City CD
509. Dancing with the brothers
510. Timmy dancing into my room, in long underwear, singing Michael Jackson songs
511. Conversations about interesting things
512. The Kim Jong Un mistake! Ha!
513. The sermon yesterday, and how His strength is perfect in my weakness
514. A little brother who will never take me seriously :P
515. My teacher saying "good job" at least twice in a row (a new record)
516. D being okay, and safe in bed when the shooting happened near him
517. "Young lady!" -D
518. Funny wedding pictures
519. PD wanting me to critique his PowerPoint. So not an expert...
520. The timer helping me get things done
521. Snow...everywhere!
#'s one and two coming soon!
Sorry it's been too long since I wrote. Almost half a month, and no thanksgiving, or writing, or pictures. I'm ashamed. However, tests in school being done, I'm back on the straight and narrow blogging path, and will try to stay there. To help, I've amassed a to-do list:
1. Write the Contest assignment (sorry, Esther, I HAVEN'T forgotten)!
2. Explain what's been going on over here
3. Continue the list
Here's the beginning of my completing #3:
501. An email from the Peyback Foundation
502. Possibly a Manning poster for Joel
503. My favorite singer helping me get the Bronco's attention
504. Joel's surgery going well!
505. Hugging H while she cries and her thanking me ("for making you CRY?!?")
506. Pastor's terrible "grave" jokes
507. Knowing what to think about controversial books
508. The new Owl City CD
509. Dancing with the brothers
510. Timmy dancing into my room, in long underwear, singing Michael Jackson songs
511. Conversations about interesting things
512. The Kim Jong Un mistake! Ha!
513. The sermon yesterday, and how His strength is perfect in my weakness
514. A little brother who will never take me seriously :P
515. My teacher saying "good job" at least twice in a row (a new record)
516. D being okay, and safe in bed when the shooting happened near him
517. "Young lady!" -D
518. Funny wedding pictures
519. PD wanting me to critique his PowerPoint. So not an expert...
520. The timer helping me get things done
521. Snow...everywhere!
#'s one and two coming soon!
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Thanksgiving 476-500
476. The concert going so well yesterday!
477. Mr. Z grinning the entire time
478. We didn't miss our entrance, and the iffy string didn't pop
479. I was able to get back into the building after locking myself out!
480. JP following me around strumming like a Cupid
481. Laughing with F
482. Talking to D before the concert
483. The snacks that filled us
484. The awkward picture with friends
485. A being hilarious and great at trumpet
486. LN's killer stare
487. Not too long till S returns to Ohio!!!
488. Christmas break from orchestra, and five Monday nights with my family
489. Starting to think about Christmas
490.The way that Christmas wraps up everything
491. Prayers for J
492. Wondering, all the time... How can I help H?
493. H being strong, but crying with me, and the way friends are called to help each other, through tears and rejoicing
494. Letters from F and H that struck a chord
495. Finding my hoodie!
496. "I hear that something that makes your voice different that everyone else's!"
497. Waiting for a long time for something good
498. Chores being done and school progressing
499. Voicemail conversations with S
500. Tracing the lines on the walls while talking with a friend. How perfect, happy, and nice!
477. Mr. Z grinning the entire time
478. We didn't miss our entrance, and the iffy string didn't pop
479. I was able to get back into the building after locking myself out!
480. JP following me around strumming like a Cupid
481. Laughing with F
482. Talking to D before the concert
483. The snacks that filled us
484. The awkward picture with friends
485. A being hilarious and great at trumpet
486. LN's killer stare
487. Not too long till S returns to Ohio!!!
488. Christmas break from orchestra, and five Monday nights with my family
489. Starting to think about Christmas
490.The way that Christmas wraps up everything
491. Prayers for J
492. Wondering, all the time... How can I help H?
493. H being strong, but crying with me, and the way friends are called to help each other, through tears and rejoicing
494. Letters from F and H that struck a chord
495. Finding my hoodie!
496. "I hear that something that makes your voice different that everyone else's!"
497. Waiting for a long time for something good
498. Chores being done and school progressing
499. Voicemail conversations with S
500. Tracing the lines on the walls while talking with a friend. How perfect, happy, and nice!
Monday, November 26, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Thanksgiving 461-475
461. A concert to play in on Monday
462. One to go to tonight
463. Big ideas that just might work
464. Reasonable friends with logical questions
465. JP approving of my thought process. YES!
466. All my music learned, except one part
467. That one part keeping me practicing, even when I want to stop
468. Meetings that (might) accomplish something
469. Funny football conversations
470. Cold weather that is accompanied by Christmas!
471. The giant map that is forming, ever so slowly, on my wall
472. Knowing that I have more to be thankful for than I can ever count, even if I can't see it
473. Talking to F on the phone, and wondering if she is better, but knowing she promised to be fine soon
474. S being home, even if I can't see her
475. Stuff to do to keep me from missing S and D and T
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
A New Blog!
I was told, by a professional photographer, that starting a photo blog would be a good thing. So I did. If you want to see my photography, visit Rachel Lambert Photography. If you want to read, stay here!
On The Eve of Thanksgiving...
Tonight Tim and I sit on the trampoline, watching the sunset, and preparing ourselves for Thanksgiving. We have decided to write down what we think:
God is good.
Sunsets are beautiful.
America is home.
The jet-trails overhead aren't followed by missiles to crush us.
We have hope.
Sisters are weird.
God is good.
Sunsets are beautiful.
America is home.
The jet-trails overhead aren't followed by missiles to crush us.
We have hope.
Sisters are weird.
Monday, November 19, 2012
On The People Who Have Helped...
Recently I realized just how thankful I ought to be for several people. Maybe it's a teenager thing to not be thankful enough for people who guide you through life, or maybe it's just not natural to anyone to be thankful. In any case, I could have just added them to the thanksgiving list, but I think an entire post for them is more fitting.
I am thankful for people who push me towards God, whether I like the process or not.
My parents are the first who come to mind, and the ones I know I ought to thank God for the most. They have been the ones who have pulled me up and nudged me on toward godliness and, ultimately, happiness. They have listened to my words, cried and laughed with me, taught me from day one, and run after me whenever I strayed. If it weren't for them, I would be a wreck.
Pastor:
He has double checked to make sure I view the Puritans correctly. =) I know he would double check to make sure I view the world and God correctly. I am thankful for him!
A Few Friends:
There are several who have pushed me to do the right thing at various times.It isn't always easy to do the right thing, and it is even harder to encourage someone sometimes. I'm thankful for these people who have been brave enough to confront me!
It begins to make me feel that there is no way I can fall too far. There are so many levels of "nets" to catch me. God is so good to give me people who love me as themselves, and this makes me want to love my neighbor more.
"Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up."
-Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10 NKJV
I am thankful for people who push me towards God, whether I like the process or not.
My parents are the first who come to mind, and the ones I know I ought to thank God for the most. They have been the ones who have pulled me up and nudged me on toward godliness and, ultimately, happiness. They have listened to my words, cried and laughed with me, taught me from day one, and run after me whenever I strayed. If it weren't for them, I would be a wreck.
Pastor:
He has double checked to make sure I view the Puritans correctly. =) I know he would double check to make sure I view the world and God correctly. I am thankful for him!
A Few Friends:
There are several who have pushed me to do the right thing at various times.It isn't always easy to do the right thing, and it is even harder to encourage someone sometimes. I'm thankful for these people who have been brave enough to confront me!
It begins to make me feel that there is no way I can fall too far. There are so many levels of "nets" to catch me. God is so good to give me people who love me as themselves, and this makes me want to love my neighbor more.
"Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up."
-Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10 NKJV
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Walking Pictures
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| We went walking today, by the creek. I'm thankful for days like this. Worries and stress give way to perfect peace. That's all. |
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Saturday, November 17, 2012
On a CONTEST...
I'm sorry for not writing for a while. I've been sorting through a lot at times, stuff too deep for the Internet. The rest of the time I've been enjoying the fall, school, Thanksgiving prep, and my family. We keep busy.
Here's something you should read and respond to:
What would you like to see here? What do you like to read, and what would you like more of? Let me know what your favorite posts have been, and how I can improve.
And how about a bit of a contest?
To enter: share this blog around. I trust you all, so you tell me how many times and where you share it, and each time will count as an entry.
The prize: Well, I'm on a budget, so the prize is kind of original... You can pick any topic/style/assignment/length of a post you want me to try and write. I will not rest until it is written and posted for you. Have fun, be creative, laugh at me if you want, pry into my life if you so desire, and enjoy!
Entries are to be placed as comments to *this* post, beginning at the moment this is published. The polls will close on Saturday the 24th, one week from today, at 10 pm. Comment each time you share. The drawing winner will be announced on Monday the 26th.
Please share your favorite, previous post; not this one (it isn't very interesting).
Go!
Here's something you should read and respond to:
What would you like to see here? What do you like to read, and what would you like more of? Let me know what your favorite posts have been, and how I can improve.
And how about a bit of a contest?
To enter: share this blog around. I trust you all, so you tell me how many times and where you share it, and each time will count as an entry.
The prize: Well, I'm on a budget, so the prize is kind of original... You can pick any topic/style/assignment/length of a post you want me to try and write. I will not rest until it is written and posted for you. Have fun, be creative, laugh at me if you want, pry into my life if you so desire, and enjoy!
Entries are to be placed as comments to *this* post, beginning at the moment this is published. The polls will close on Saturday the 24th, one week from today, at 10 pm. Comment each time you share. The drawing winner will be announced on Monday the 26th.
Please share your favorite, previous post; not this one (it isn't very interesting).
Go!
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Thanksgiving List 444-460
Some days I don't really feel that thankful, and listing really helps...
444. Grandma, and the life she lived, and how much I want to be like her
445. Not being hungry
446. A mom who hugs me anyway
447. Conversations with cousins that pry into what I believe
448. Realizing how ridiculously amazing Christianity is
449. Knowing what to do, even when it's hard
450. Friends who are concerned
451. H crying with me
452. S writing back again and again
453. Phone talks with B
454. Letters to and from H
455. The time we spent in Indiana
456. Healing hurting and itching, but being hope-filled
457. Snickerdoodles on Monday nights
458. Having the best parents ever!!
459. Being honest, and the hope of it all
460. F being my favorite stand partner yet!
444. Grandma, and the life she lived, and how much I want to be like her
445. Not being hungry
446. A mom who hugs me anyway
447. Conversations with cousins that pry into what I believe
448. Realizing how ridiculously amazing Christianity is
449. Knowing what to do, even when it's hard
450. Friends who are concerned
451. H crying with me
452. S writing back again and again
453. Phone talks with B
454. Letters to and from H
455. The time we spent in Indiana
456. Healing hurting and itching, but being hope-filled
457. Snickerdoodles on Monday nights
458. Having the best parents ever!!
459. Being honest, and the hope of it all
460. F being my favorite stand partner yet!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
On Dignity and Just Not Having Answers...
Strength and dignity are supposed to be my clothing, but sometimes that is nearly impossible. I sin, and the honesty that forces upon me does not make me want to stand tall and look you in the eye. I want to hide and never be taken seriously.
But...what about strength and dignity? Of course, I've learned to avoid the sin that tears dignity to shreds, but what can return my dignity to me? And what IS this dignity? Where ought I to find my reassurance? What is godly strength in a woman?
I just don't know. Not right now.
But...what about strength and dignity? Of course, I've learned to avoid the sin that tears dignity to shreds, but what can return my dignity to me? And what IS this dignity? Where ought I to find my reassurance? What is godly strength in a woman?
I just don't know. Not right now.
Friday, November 9, 2012
On Driving...
I put down my crochet work and lifted the camera to save what the sky looked like tonight.
Driving through fields in Indiana just before sundown was a beautiful thing. And I wondered, which devalued the day more blatantly: ignoring it, or trying to capture it?
The cars around us were full of travelers... from states near and far. And some of them from Ohio, which is home now. All of us watching the sun set, with thoughts thrown around in the silence that Indianan fields seem to require.
We were there, and in a Midwestern way, I felt I knew them.
The piles of sand near a construction site on the side of the road brought Joplin back to mind. Hard it is, this going West, but not that far.
I wondered what it felt like to live in an RV sunk deep into one square at a camp ground. To squat there, under this sky.
Or to be that man at the rest stop. Sitting, under the sky.
And that's why I liked Indiana today– it was the sky.
Driving through fields in Indiana just before sundown was a beautiful thing. And I wondered, which devalued the day more blatantly: ignoring it, or trying to capture it?
The cars around us were full of travelers... from states near and far. And some of them from Ohio, which is home now. All of us watching the sun set, with thoughts thrown around in the silence that Indianan fields seem to require.
We were there, and in a Midwestern way, I felt I knew them.
The piles of sand near a construction site on the side of the road brought Joplin back to mind. Hard it is, this going West, but not that far.
I wondered what it felt like to live in an RV sunk deep into one square at a camp ground. To squat there, under this sky.
Or to be that man at the rest stop. Sitting, under the sky.
And that's why I liked Indiana today– it was the sky.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
I Feel...
EXCITED:
Adventure begins tomorrow!
Sad:
What a DAY!
Tired:
Just one more test and a run, THEN I can go to bed!
Happy:
Life is good...really!
Nervous:
Always nervous while packing!
Thankful:
Such good memories with packing.
Impertinent:
I think it's the day...and Pride and Prejudice! ;-)
Full:
Of knowledge. No more will fit tonight. The end. No room in the inn!
Ready:
For bed.
(Comment and tell me how YOU feel! Right now!)
Adventure begins tomorrow!
Sad:
What a DAY!
Tired:
Just one more test and a run, THEN I can go to bed!
Happy:
Life is good...really!
Nervous:
Always nervous while packing!
Thankful:
Such good memories with packing.
Impertinent:
I think it's the day...and Pride and Prejudice! ;-)
Full:
Of knowledge. No more will fit tonight. The end. No room in the inn!
Ready:
For bed.
(Comment and tell me how YOU feel! Right now!)
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Thanksgiving 426-443
426. A movie with Tim
427. Being busy
428. A yarn gift from Mrs. L
429. Finishing up projects
430. Pride and Prejudice in school
431. Knowing the answers to the test
432. Discovering hidden fears to lay before the Lord
433. That He welcomes me to bring everything to Him
434. That I get to face those fears and WILL conquer, by God's grace
435. Learning to let go of my desire for control
436. The plans for the next few months
437. The trip this summer that changed me
438. Wanting to go back-- so bad
439. Grandpa- "Did you vote right?"
440. God is in control of America
441. Hope springing again
442. Crying at 5:30 am, and the day improving
443. Talking to S, and how she tried to call me when I really needed it
427. Being busy
428. A yarn gift from Mrs. L
429. Finishing up projects
430. Pride and Prejudice in school
431. Knowing the answers to the test
432. Discovering hidden fears to lay before the Lord
433. That He welcomes me to bring everything to Him
434. That I get to face those fears and WILL conquer, by God's grace
435. Learning to let go of my desire for control
436. The plans for the next few months
437. The trip this summer that changed me
438. Wanting to go back-- so bad
439. Grandpa- "Did you vote right?"
440. God is in control of America
441. Hope springing again
442. Crying at 5:30 am, and the day improving
443. Talking to S, and how she tried to call me when I really needed it
Bible Verses For Today...
"O Lord, how long shall I cry, And You will not hear? Even cry out to You, “Violence!” And You will not save. Why do You show me iniquity, And cause me to see trouble? For plundering and violence are before me; There is strife, and contention arises. Therefore the law is powerless, And justice never goes forth. For the wicked surround the righteous; Therefore perverse judgment proceeds. “Look among the nations and watch— Be utterly astounded! For I will work a work in your days Which you would not believe, though it were told you."
(Habakkuk 1:2-5 NKJV)
"Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls— Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation."
(Habakkuk 3:17, 18 NKJV)
(Habakkuk 1:2-5 NKJV)
"Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls— Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation."
(Habakkuk 3:17, 18 NKJV)
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
On Politics On Election Day...
Today it is decided: who will lead our country for the next four years. And I admit I was nervous for a while! What would happen to our country if our current president continues in office?
And this is why I cannot think well of him:
Any man who does not submit to the laws God has put in place for the world creates his own standard for morality, and shakes his fist at his creator. A country that supports that is anything but Christian.
I've started listening to Christmas music already, and the lyrics to "Do You Hear What I Hear" bothered me. Can you imagine how history would be different if the king HAD admitted and proclaimed that Christ would "bring us goodness and light"?
Herod was a king who shook his fist at God, loved his power, knew no one could take it from him, and (oh, the similarities) approved (ordered) the killing of thousands of babies.
But if Christ had received honor instead of derision and hatred... Obviously, Christ's death (and all the apparent dishonor that it included) was God's plan.
People who shook their fists at their Creator crucified Him, and because of that I HAVE LIFE!
"But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive."
(Genesis 50:20 NKJV)
Have a happy Election Day, and remember, no matter what happens:
"The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes."
(Proverbs 21:1 NKJV)
And this is why I cannot think well of him:
Any man who does not submit to the laws God has put in place for the world creates his own standard for morality, and shakes his fist at his creator. A country that supports that is anything but Christian.
I've started listening to Christmas music already, and the lyrics to "Do You Hear What I Hear" bothered me. Can you imagine how history would be different if the king HAD admitted and proclaimed that Christ would "bring us goodness and light"?
Herod was a king who shook his fist at God, loved his power, knew no one could take it from him, and (oh, the similarities) approved (ordered) the killing of thousands of babies.
But if Christ had received honor instead of derision and hatred... Obviously, Christ's death (and all the apparent dishonor that it included) was God's plan.
People who shook their fists at their Creator crucified Him, and because of that I HAVE LIFE!
"But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive."
(Genesis 50:20 NKJV)
Have a happy Election Day, and remember, no matter what happens:
"The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes."
(Proverbs 21:1 NKJV)
Monday, November 5, 2012
Thanksgiving 400-425
400. Books!
401. Running feeling good
402. Sectionals tonight
403. Oregon football on TV in Ohio
404. U of O doing so well
405. 23 more countries mapped on my wall
406. John's ninja dodge- so funny!
407. Funny conversations at church
408. Funny friends
409. Being able to laugh freely
410. Amy giving great blog advice
411. Amy is my friend!!
412. Spinach sandwiches
413. The fish tank, and the memories it holds
414. My new CD
415. Election Day
416. Not being in danger of my life because of my political views.
417. Forgiveness. Again and again.
418. Mom's encouragement
419. People who approve
420. People who don't, and how they push me to examine myself and what I believe
421. Logic
422. Deep thought and sweet poetry that doesn't fit in America
423. The sermons over the past few months, and how they apply so well today
424. That sermon right after we moved that I STILL remember
425. God having power over my heart
401. Running feeling good
402. Sectionals tonight
403. Oregon football on TV in Ohio
404. U of O doing so well
405. 23 more countries mapped on my wall
406. John's ninja dodge- so funny!
407. Funny conversations at church
408. Funny friends
409. Being able to laugh freely
410. Amy giving great blog advice
411. Amy is my friend!!
412. Spinach sandwiches
413. The fish tank, and the memories it holds
414. My new CD
415. Election Day
416. Not being in danger of my life because of my political views.
417. Forgiveness. Again and again.
418. Mom's encouragement
419. People who approve
420. People who don't, and how they push me to examine myself and what I believe
421. Logic
422. Deep thought and sweet poetry that doesn't fit in America
423. The sermons over the past few months, and how they apply so well today
424. That sermon right after we moved that I STILL remember
425. God having power over my heart
On Warmth and Good Books...
Today it is cold outside, the political calls are unceasing (at least it feels that way), and the trees are almost entirely bare.
But I have BOOKS. To read in the safety and warmth of my house. To enjoy and savor. To read myself warm.
And that's what makes school amazing: it's made up of BOOKS. And you and I have every opportunity to read wonderful literature.
The president cannot (at least yet) take away books and reading and knowledge and the free exchange of ideas.
We have access to books no matter our income. Nothing, absolutely nothing, prevents us from reading.
This was not always the case everywhere. And I am THANKFUL to live in the USA during the 21st century, and read...all day.
So let the wind blow, the phone ring, and the day go on. I'll be in my warm house, reading.
Happy Monday!
But I have BOOKS. To read in the safety and warmth of my house. To enjoy and savor. To read myself warm.
And that's what makes school amazing: it's made up of BOOKS. And you and I have every opportunity to read wonderful literature.
The president cannot (at least yet) take away books and reading and knowledge and the free exchange of ideas.
We have access to books no matter our income. Nothing, absolutely nothing, prevents us from reading.
This was not always the case everywhere. And I am THANKFUL to live in the USA during the 21st century, and read...all day.
So let the wind blow, the phone ring, and the day go on. I'll be in my warm house, reading.
Happy Monday!
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Thanksgiving 334-400
Keeping on counting...
334. An afternoon with a friend I haven't seen in a long time.
335. Dutch Blitz
336. Annie being adorable!!
337. Chores–done
338. A violin piece coming together...one measure at a time
339. Conversations I'm looking forward to
340. A pile of good books to read
341. "I understand" type conversations
342. God has plans for everything, and they won't be frustrated
343. New songs to listen to when I run
344. Good news about sports next year
345. Working the church website!
346. Teaching crochet to two (maybe three) willing girls
347. Baby O doing well after surgery!
348. God loves me even when I'm unthankful
349. Christmas music with Mom today
350. Chatting with D
351. A best friend who really understands and loves me anyway
352. Prayers for her
353. Good food...always more of it around...
354. Europe and Asia now outlined on my map project
355. The part of it that S colored
356. (real life, not FB) mutual friends
357. Egg nog for winter
358. A quiet room
359. The Hobbit coming out soon, and all the conversations with H, and A, and C, and K about it
400. Dad caring about my writing
334. An afternoon with a friend I haven't seen in a long time.
335. Dutch Blitz
336. Annie being adorable!!
337. Chores–done
338. A violin piece coming together...one measure at a time
339. Conversations I'm looking forward to
340. A pile of good books to read
341. "I understand" type conversations
342. God has plans for everything, and they won't be frustrated
343. New songs to listen to when I run
344. Good news about sports next year
345. Working the church website!
346. Teaching crochet to two (maybe three) willing girls
347. Baby O doing well after surgery!
348. God loves me even when I'm unthankful
349. Christmas music with Mom today
350. Chatting with D
351. A best friend who really understands and loves me anyway
352. Prayers for her
353. Good food...always more of it around...
354. Europe and Asia now outlined on my map project
355. The part of it that S colored
356. (real life, not FB) mutual friends
357. Egg nog for winter
358. A quiet room
359. The Hobbit coming out soon, and all the conversations with H, and A, and C, and K about it
400. Dad caring about my writing
Thursday, November 1, 2012
On The Death Of Saints...
Today I read the final pages of "The Pilgrim's Progress" by John Bunyan, and as I read of the death of Christian and Hopeful, and their subsequent glory and joy in Heaven, I could not help but think about death and hope.
And they should go together for Christians.
We as Christians have nothing to lose, and everything to gain from death. The end of the race, and the point at which we will be able to glorify God without end, without our flesh to harden the task and weigh us down. How against society--to welcome death!
But death is the enemy; how can we welcome it?
Today is All Saints Day, and even the Protestant Church celebrated this holiday at one time (some denominations still do). A day to remember and celebrate the ones who have gone before us.
Today is the eight month anniversary of the day that I was told a coworker of a friend was shot to death in Iraq, teaching in an English-speaking school just a few hours before. How do you reconcile hope with the seeming hopelessness of death? How are we supposed to say that everything will be okay, when that does NOT appear to be the case? But there is still hope.
Next week I will travel to Indiana and meet someone who nearly died twice this year. My parents' friends' son. The one with a tumor on his brain, the one who had surgeries, and the one who cannot swallow or walk. He has hope.
This month is my grandma's birthday month. The grandma who died in Washington while we sat in Ohio, praying. And how on earth am I expected to have hope? But still, hope is there, in me.
Because. Because death has been defeated.
“O Death, where is your sting?
O Hades, where is your victory?”
~1 Corinthians 15:55
And they should go together for Christians.
We as Christians have nothing to lose, and everything to gain from death. The end of the race, and the point at which we will be able to glorify God without end, without our flesh to harden the task and weigh us down. How against society--to welcome death!
But death is the enemy; how can we welcome it?
Today is All Saints Day, and even the Protestant Church celebrated this holiday at one time (some denominations still do). A day to remember and celebrate the ones who have gone before us.
"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."And so, I will remember.
~Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJV
Today is the eight month anniversary of the day that I was told a coworker of a friend was shot to death in Iraq, teaching in an English-speaking school just a few hours before. How do you reconcile hope with the seeming hopelessness of death? How are we supposed to say that everything will be okay, when that does NOT appear to be the case? But there is still hope.
Next week I will travel to Indiana and meet someone who nearly died twice this year. My parents' friends' son. The one with a tumor on his brain, the one who had surgeries, and the one who cannot swallow or walk. He has hope.
This month is my grandma's birthday month. The grandma who died in Washington while we sat in Ohio, praying. And how on earth am I expected to have hope? But still, hope is there, in me.
Because. Because death has been defeated.
"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord"And if I am 100% convinced of that, then I can sleep in peace tonight.
~Romans 8:38-39
“O Death, where is your sting?
O Hades, where is your victory?”
~1 Corinthians 15:55
A Letter To YOU...
Dear You,
Thank you for reading this blog. Thank you for coming faithfully to hear and see my heart out poured. It helps me, and I really hope you are blessed. I pray that this space will be used to glorify God above anything else, though.
Because that is when we are truly blessed– when we seek Him. I hope and pray that you will find that joy, and ask that you pray that I will push toward that goal myself.
You've seen– I am not always joyful, or thankful, or happy, but I WANT TO BE! And writing here helps. I begin desperately lost in my own head and heart, and we all know that the heart is desperately wicked! As I write I am drawn out and up, and begin to see what I ought. Then I try to put that to words.
So, thank you. Thank you for coming along for the journey, and know this: I'm glad you're here.
Love,
Rachel
P.S. Faithful blog-followers, would you consider sharing this blog with someone? Perhaps use the "share" button found at the bottom of each post? Thanks!
Thank you for reading this blog. Thank you for coming faithfully to hear and see my heart out poured. It helps me, and I really hope you are blessed. I pray that this space will be used to glorify God above anything else, though.
Because that is when we are truly blessed– when we seek Him. I hope and pray that you will find that joy, and ask that you pray that I will push toward that goal myself.
You've seen– I am not always joyful, or thankful, or happy, but I WANT TO BE! And writing here helps. I begin desperately lost in my own head and heart, and we all know that the heart is desperately wicked! As I write I am drawn out and up, and begin to see what I ought. Then I try to put that to words.
So, thank you. Thank you for coming along for the journey, and know this: I'm glad you're here.
Love,
Rachel
P.S. Faithful blog-followers, would you consider sharing this blog with someone? Perhaps use the "share" button found at the bottom of each post? Thanks!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Thanksgiving 306-333
306. Mom understanding
307. Math makes SENSE now!
308. Dad not getting too frustrated with the book
309. Nerves in my hands– I know when something's wrong
310. Maybe I can play violin again today?
311. Latex gloves to shower in (cannot WAIT for healed hands!)
312. Not needing stitches
313. Mom worrying more about me than the pitcher I broke
314. "It's just a pitcher" and the conviction that flowed from that (how often could I say "it's just a..." and let things go?)
315. Miss Wendy helping Tim, and all she's done so far
316. Tim being able to read due to vision therapy
317. Baby H making progress!
318. O being almost done with surgery
319. Dvorák concert last night
320. The wheel-chaired conductor doing wheelies
321. Mom smiling on stage– so pretty!
322. Worries of mine being silly
323. Concert of mine coming up
324. My conductor apologizing to me
325. Him using MY bowings!
326. My instrument being called a "chin-cello" (not to be confused with a chinchilla, which you DON'T want on your neck :)
327. The Reformation
328. People who stood firm on truth
329. The road they paved for us, because of faith in Christ
330. Having just read "Foxe's Book Of Martyrs", I can appreciate today all the more!
331. Friends sharing Martin Luther pictures on Facebook
332. Finding neat papers
333. Waiting...anxious...hopeful for a letter from K
307. Math makes SENSE now!
308. Dad not getting too frustrated with the book
309. Nerves in my hands– I know when something's wrong
310. Maybe I can play violin again today?
311. Latex gloves to shower in (cannot WAIT for healed hands!)
312. Not needing stitches
313. Mom worrying more about me than the pitcher I broke
314. "It's just a pitcher" and the conviction that flowed from that (how often could I say "it's just a..." and let things go?)
315. Miss Wendy helping Tim, and all she's done so far
316. Tim being able to read due to vision therapy
317. Baby H making progress!
318. O being almost done with surgery
319. Dvorák concert last night
320. The wheel-chaired conductor doing wheelies
321. Mom smiling on stage– so pretty!
322. Worries of mine being silly
323. Concert of mine coming up
324. My conductor apologizing to me
325. Him using MY bowings!
326. My instrument being called a "chin-cello" (not to be confused with a chinchilla, which you DON'T want on your neck :)
327. The Reformation
328. People who stood firm on truth
329. The road they paved for us, because of faith in Christ
330. Having just read "Foxe's Book Of Martyrs", I can appreciate today all the more!
331. Friends sharing Martin Luther pictures on Facebook
332. Finding neat papers
333. Waiting...anxious...hopeful for a letter from K
On God's Love...
Before I even begin today, I am tempted to give up. Or rather, try to give up– I've never been allowed the privilege of being a quitter. This new math equation, it isn't impossible, it isn't even too hard to use, but I don't understand it. And I cannot handle not being able to know WHY.
Why is it written that way?
And that is the question that haunts me all the time: why is it written that way? What is the point of the story of my life having these ups and downs, and why did God write it this way?
"One can imagine a sentient picture, after being rubbed and scraped and re-commenced for the tenth time, wishing that it were only a thumb-nail sketch whose making was over in a minute. In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less.”
~C.S. Lewis
I cannot wish this math away. I cannot speed through the day without feeling anything. I cannot make the cuts on my hand quit aching. But I can remember: This is part of God's love for me. He is sanctifying me and rewriting the story of my life. To ask this away is to ask for His love to lessen.
"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;" (Philippians 1:6 NKJV)
And therein lies my hope for today.
Why is it written that way?
And that is the question that haunts me all the time: why is it written that way? What is the point of the story of my life having these ups and downs, and why did God write it this way?
"One can imagine a sentient picture, after being rubbed and scraped and re-commenced for the tenth time, wishing that it were only a thumb-nail sketch whose making was over in a minute. In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less.”
~C.S. Lewis
I cannot wish this math away. I cannot speed through the day without feeling anything. I cannot make the cuts on my hand quit aching. But I can remember: This is part of God's love for me. He is sanctifying me and rewriting the story of my life. To ask this away is to ask for His love to lessen.
"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;" (Philippians 1:6 NKJV)
And therein lies my hope for today.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
On Sin And Blood...
We sat on the couch, my dad and I, and we talked about true annual interest rates, and square feet and inches. My engineer dad grew frustrated with the way the book handled annual interest rates, and he tried hard to show me what I really needed to know. So many of our talks have felt like that– "yeah, there's fluff, but here's what you REALLY need to know, Rachel."
We needed to leave for the concert, Mom is playing in it, and we need good seats. So I pull up off the couch and slide new bandages over the cuts on my hands. Washing dishes turned bloody when I crashed the pitcher into the sink wall this morning. And so much of life feels like that– slipping bandages over the broken parts.
Oh, what a reminder– when everything seems hard and my hands hurt... This is the result of sin.
Ugly sin that I tell myself is OK. Sin that (because I committed it) nailed my God and Savior to a cross, and that was far more bloody and painful than my hands are right now.
In fact, my hands are clean. In the glorious paradox of the Gospel, my hands are clean, even though they are covered in His blood. Hands guilty of death.
Because they are covered in His blood.
And even today, I can rejoice in that.
And hate the sin that brings separation from God. Because that is what pain is from.
Oh, and Dvorak performed tonight...I'm thankful. =)
We needed to leave for the concert, Mom is playing in it, and we need good seats. So I pull up off the couch and slide new bandages over the cuts on my hands. Washing dishes turned bloody when I crashed the pitcher into the sink wall this morning. And so much of life feels like that– slipping bandages over the broken parts.
Oh, what a reminder– when everything seems hard and my hands hurt... This is the result of sin.
Ugly sin that I tell myself is OK. Sin that (because I committed it) nailed my God and Savior to a cross, and that was far more bloody and painful than my hands are right now.
In fact, my hands are clean. In the glorious paradox of the Gospel, my hands are clean, even though they are covered in His blood. Hands guilty of death.
Because they are covered in His blood.
And even today, I can rejoice in that.
And hate the sin that brings separation from God. Because that is what pain is from.
Oh, and Dvorak performed tonight...I'm thankful. =)
Monday, October 29, 2012
On The Tired Days...
When motivation is lacking for anything....
Do all for the glory of God.
All other sources of purpose will fail....
But this one cannot.
Do all for the glory of God.
All other sources of purpose will fail....
But this one cannot.
Thanksgiving 276-305
276. Finding peace
277. Tweet from Christa Wells– I feel blessed!
278. The meal with K and H and A
279. A "job" offer from church
280. Being called a photographer– for real!!
281. A name for what I'm trying to do!
282. Holding baby A
283. Baby A didn't cry when she was baptized
284. Five baptisms on ONE day (a Presbyterian revival??)
285. New church family members
286. Singing "We Are God's People" in church
287. A pastor who cries– so joyful!
288. The pastor's wife's jokes!!!
289. That I still have orchestra for another year
290. A conductor who makes us laugh– even when I'm staring at the viola section, missing the one who used to lead it
291. That I get to see that first violist sooner than it seems!
292. That I became best friends with that violist, so now I can miss her
293. What she said about missing people being worth having known them, and that she didn't mean that about herself, but it's so true!
294. The Washington friends who live in Cincinnati– oh the memories!
295. Not being ready for this afternoon, but knowing I CAN be ready
296. Being called a perfectionist, and the deep thoughts that produced
297. Not needing to be perfect in everything
298. When I'm not perfect, God forgives
299. He knows my frame, and remembers I am but dust
300. Mistakes turning out okay, and practicing telling myself to calm down– someday I'll listen to myself...
301. A violin teacher who doesn't yell at me, even when I want to yell at myself
302. Food to give energy to conquer this next challenge
303. Playing out in the wind with Timmy
304. East coast friends who face this storm with joy and grace
305. Waiting for messages from people, and how prayer brings answers or peace right away.
277. Tweet from Christa Wells– I feel blessed!
278. The meal with K and H and A
279. A "job" offer from church
280. Being called a photographer– for real!!
281. A name for what I'm trying to do!
282. Holding baby A
283. Baby A didn't cry when she was baptized
284. Five baptisms on ONE day (a Presbyterian revival??)
285. New church family members
286. Singing "We Are God's People" in church
287. A pastor who cries– so joyful!
288. The pastor's wife's jokes!!!
289. That I still have orchestra for another year
290. A conductor who makes us laugh– even when I'm staring at the viola section, missing the one who used to lead it
291. That I get to see that first violist sooner than it seems!
292. That I became best friends with that violist, so now I can miss her
293. What she said about missing people being worth having known them, and that she didn't mean that about herself, but it's so true!
294. The Washington friends who live in Cincinnati– oh the memories!
295. Not being ready for this afternoon, but knowing I CAN be ready
296. Being called a perfectionist, and the deep thoughts that produced
297. Not needing to be perfect in everything
298. When I'm not perfect, God forgives
299. He knows my frame, and remembers I am but dust
300. Mistakes turning out okay, and practicing telling myself to calm down– someday I'll listen to myself...
301. A violin teacher who doesn't yell at me, even when I want to yell at myself
302. Food to give energy to conquer this next challenge
303. Playing out in the wind with Timmy
304. East coast friends who face this storm with joy and grace
305. Waiting for messages from people, and how prayer brings answers or peace right away.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
On Mom And Absorbing Sheer Impact...
The look I received plunged deep into my pride. It smashed my smile and dropped my heart into the church floor. I deserved it, but pride never accepts blame. It rooted into the crushed bits of my heart and sent weed-like bitterness through my entire being.
She whispered a question and smiled. I glared to express the hurt in me. I wanted so badly to break the quite and cry on her shoulder, to express in words what I cruelly expressed in looks. She knew I wasn't mad at her, but shouldn't I laugh with her instead of glare the anger into her?
But that look didn't spread any further. As soon as it hit her it died. Anger overshadowed by joy. The stress of her morning– planning meals for church– was no problem. The look I gave her was no knife into her, and maybe she didn't even notice, but hasn't that always been the way things are? Always, hurt and anger end with her.
As long as I can remember, it's to her we ran with scraped knees. She was the one who ended the arguments and spread peace as the standard. She, the one with more responsibilities than all of us combined, had the greatest joy. She endured the impact of our looks and words. And she threw back love and joy.
Dear Mom,
I want to be just like you someday.
She whispered a question and smiled. I glared to express the hurt in me. I wanted so badly to break the quite and cry on her shoulder, to express in words what I cruelly expressed in looks. She knew I wasn't mad at her, but shouldn't I laugh with her instead of glare the anger into her?
But that look didn't spread any further. As soon as it hit her it died. Anger overshadowed by joy. The stress of her morning– planning meals for church– was no problem. The look I gave her was no knife into her, and maybe she didn't even notice, but hasn't that always been the way things are? Always, hurt and anger end with her.
As long as I can remember, it's to her we ran with scraped knees. She was the one who ended the arguments and spread peace as the standard. She, the one with more responsibilities than all of us combined, had the greatest joy. She endured the impact of our looks and words. And she threw back love and joy.
Dear Mom,
I want to be just like you someday.
On Missing...
I'm bundled up warm in my dad's car while writing this. The leaves slipping silently off the trees remind me of the autumns of previous years– in Oregon.
Everyone knows I miss Oregon. While I love Ohio, I do really miss my old home. But it's not just the area itself I miss, it's the memories:
Sweeping pine needles off the porch, waiting for Grandma to arrive.
Grandma. I miss her a lot.
The pumpkin patch we took her to, and how she stayed on the hayride while we picked out our pumpkins. That was when I started to realize that she was old. But it was a few years before her body finally failed her.
The rose garden, the zoo, the book store.
The church, with people I thought I'd always see everyday.
My New-Age neighbor, whose house I took care of. My Christian neighbor, whose garden I cared for. Her Iraqi husband, who made me chew ginger for a stuffy nose.
The concerts my mom performed in that were just right.
The warmth of fall and moderation of winter.
The trees in our backyard.
And yet, I don't totally want to go back. I would have a whole new list of things to miss:
The people at the church. The rooms I spent so much time in.
The snow falling– all winter.
The football.
The beautiful fall colors in this state that lacks pine trees.
The beautiful fog on summer mornings.
The history in this area.
The friend I laugh with all the time.
The friend who returns to this area!
The newness of life here.
Wherever you are, there's something to miss.
Or something to be thankful for...
Rejoice!
Everyone knows I miss Oregon. While I love Ohio, I do really miss my old home. But it's not just the area itself I miss, it's the memories:
Sweeping pine needles off the porch, waiting for Grandma to arrive.
Grandma. I miss her a lot.
The pumpkin patch we took her to, and how she stayed on the hayride while we picked out our pumpkins. That was when I started to realize that she was old. But it was a few years before her body finally failed her.
The rose garden, the zoo, the book store.
The church, with people I thought I'd always see everyday.
My New-Age neighbor, whose house I took care of. My Christian neighbor, whose garden I cared for. Her Iraqi husband, who made me chew ginger for a stuffy nose.
The concerts my mom performed in that were just right.
The warmth of fall and moderation of winter.
The trees in our backyard.
And yet, I don't totally want to go back. I would have a whole new list of things to miss:
The people at the church. The rooms I spent so much time in.
The snow falling– all winter.
The football.
The beautiful fall colors in this state that lacks pine trees.
The beautiful fog on summer mornings.
The history in this area.
The friend I laugh with all the time.
The friend who returns to this area!
The newness of life here.
Wherever you are, there's something to miss.
Or something to be thankful for...
Rejoice!
Saturday, October 27, 2012
On How To Always Win (in every situation!)...
Whenever I workout, I come back sore, but better off for it. When I read the news, I come back sore...any better off?
Maybe.
Today I read about bombs in Iraq during their Eid holiday. It was the worst to read what a dad in Baghdad said: "We feel sad for the children who thought that they would spend a happy time during Eid, but instead ended up getting killed or hurt." (Al-Jazeera English)
I can't imagine... I am so thankful for the safety I enjoy in southern Ohio. While bombs rock Iraq, and storms rock the east coast of the USA, and recovery pains rock Joplin, Missouri, I am comfortable and secure. But it still hurts to hear about such tragedies. How (other than very, VERY thankful) ought I to feel?
On a clear night this week, Tim and I lay on our backs outside, singing hymns while admiring the stars. It seemed absolutely perfect! Peace was on our bit of earth. When we looked at the stars we recognized the work of a perfect Creator, and it made us sing.
When I look at current events, I see the work of a perfect Provider, and it OUGHT to make me sing.
But it doesn't.
If the point of the world is to make mankind comfortable, to bring peace, and to end world hunger, then there is absolutely nothing to rejoice in. No reason to sing. The world is a failure.
However, if the point is to glorify the perfect God Who perfectly planned the course of history to glorify Himself, then there is NO FAILURE! No way the world can be merely a bad place. No way any wrong has no purpose.
And IF that's true, then the most world-changing, destiny-fulfilling, ultimately important thing I can possibly do with my life is, like Job, cry out "Blessed be the Name of the Lord!"
And the army with that battle cry will always win!!
Enjoy your Sunday!
(photo also from Al-Jazeera)
Maybe.
Today I read about bombs in Iraq during their Eid holiday. It was the worst to read what a dad in Baghdad said: "We feel sad for the children who thought that they would spend a happy time during Eid, but instead ended up getting killed or hurt." (Al-Jazeera English)
I can't imagine... I am so thankful for the safety I enjoy in southern Ohio. While bombs rock Iraq, and storms rock the east coast of the USA, and recovery pains rock Joplin, Missouri, I am comfortable and secure. But it still hurts to hear about such tragedies. How (other than very, VERY thankful) ought I to feel?
On a clear night this week, Tim and I lay on our backs outside, singing hymns while admiring the stars. It seemed absolutely perfect! Peace was on our bit of earth. When we looked at the stars we recognized the work of a perfect Creator, and it made us sing.
When I look at current events, I see the work of a perfect Provider, and it OUGHT to make me sing.
But it doesn't.
If the point of the world is to make mankind comfortable, to bring peace, and to end world hunger, then there is absolutely nothing to rejoice in. No reason to sing. The world is a failure.
However, if the point is to glorify the perfect God Who perfectly planned the course of history to glorify Himself, then there is NO FAILURE! No way the world can be merely a bad place. No way any wrong has no purpose.
And IF that's true, then the most world-changing, destiny-fulfilling, ultimately important thing I can possibly do with my life is, like Job, cry out "Blessed be the Name of the Lord!"
And the army with that battle cry will always win!!
Enjoy your Sunday!
(photo also from Al-Jazeera)
Thanksgiving 261-275
261. Getting a dreadfully needed A =)
262. Learning how to learn
263. An email from J
264. Sleepovers with Timmy
265. ESPN while appliance shopping, and all the conversations it inspired with Timmy
266. John offering to help me
267. Trusting John– always!
268. Movies with the whole family
269. The way Dad smiled when he saw my grade!!!
270. Work to do today
271. Rest for the body and soul tomorrow
272. The preciousness of the Sabbath
273. Funny emails that actually make me laugh!
274. Having CONQUERED the Frankenstein paper
275. New babies at church
262. Learning how to learn
263. An email from J
264. Sleepovers with Timmy
265. ESPN while appliance shopping, and all the conversations it inspired with Timmy
266. John offering to help me
267. Trusting John– always!
268. Movies with the whole family
269. The way Dad smiled when he saw my grade!!!
270. Work to do today
271. Rest for the body and soul tomorrow
272. The preciousness of the Sabbath
273. Funny emails that actually make me laugh!
274. Having CONQUERED the Frankenstein paper
275. New babies at church
Friday, October 26, 2012
On Not Understanding...
This is hard to write. I wrestle with the ideas and words behind this so much that they get caught up in the rafters of my heart and bring about no good change. But here it is:
I do not understand my little brother sometimes. While I usually can guess semi-accurately what he's thinking, and I always know what he means when he says things, there are so many times when I don't understand the silence, or the reason for his thoughts, or exactly what makes him tick. Innumerable times every day I wonder why he says what he says, or does what he does. And when people ask me to explain, I can merely shake my head and say "I don't know".
And I love him. That is even harder to express in words.
I beg God for grace to SEE what I cannot– the reason for who and what he is. But even if I can't see that, I know that there is one Who can, and it is my calling to passionately love this one who was fearfully and wonderfully made by Him.
The spontaneous hugs he gives make tears well up.
The jokes he crack make me shake my head in wonder.
The hymns he sing stretch the corners of my mouth.
The way he looks at me confuses me to no end.
His way of thinking threatens my view of the world.
We play basketball together, and I wonder in the wind about how he sees things. How his heart works, what he thinks of me, and why I can't pry inside.
But maybe I don't need to. He hands me the ball and tells me it's time for one-on-one. He finds joy in each of us shooting, scoring, and keeping the steadily rising scores even in his head. He laughs, hops, and all around him glows.
This is where we grow, barely talking-- just laughing and knowing exactly who we are in that moment. We are the kids holding the ball, feeling the wind, hoping in the Lord.
And I love my baby brother. Beyond words.
I do not understand my little brother sometimes. While I usually can guess semi-accurately what he's thinking, and I always know what he means when he says things, there are so many times when I don't understand the silence, or the reason for his thoughts, or exactly what makes him tick. Innumerable times every day I wonder why he says what he says, or does what he does. And when people ask me to explain, I can merely shake my head and say "I don't know".
And I love him. That is even harder to express in words.
I beg God for grace to SEE what I cannot– the reason for who and what he is. But even if I can't see that, I know that there is one Who can, and it is my calling to passionately love this one who was fearfully and wonderfully made by Him.
The spontaneous hugs he gives make tears well up.
The jokes he crack make me shake my head in wonder.
The hymns he sing stretch the corners of my mouth.
The way he looks at me confuses me to no end.
His way of thinking threatens my view of the world.
We play basketball together, and I wonder in the wind about how he sees things. How his heart works, what he thinks of me, and why I can't pry inside.
But maybe I don't need to. He hands me the ball and tells me it's time for one-on-one. He finds joy in each of us shooting, scoring, and keeping the steadily rising scores even in his head. He laughs, hops, and all around him glows.
This is where we grow, barely talking-- just laughing and knowing exactly who we are in that moment. We are the kids holding the ball, feeling the wind, hoping in the Lord.
And I love my baby brother. Beyond words.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
On Fighting A Losing Fight Against Death...
The leaves fell thick on the lawn, and I mowed them back. Around and around on the tractor, herding these dead things that once sought oxygen off from the lawn, where they were currently busy choking life away from the grass.
As I mowed, more and more leaves fell, some clinging to my hair, some traveling across the yard (or hopefully into the neighbor's) to land. It felt like a losing battle– so many more leaves on the trees! The war of autumn is to keep the leaves on the dirt, where they can benefit the trees and slowly return to dust.
And it's like the battle of life against death– the dark cover that blinds, chokes, and deceives being pushed back to let the Light in. But in this world, the mower doesn't always seem to be doing its job. Death rules...doesn't it?
Oh, but not for long! After fall's leaves and winter's snow have been pushed back we WILL see the sun. Darkness lost its power and dominion. Oh death, where is now thy sting?
We are free.
As I mowed, more and more leaves fell, some clinging to my hair, some traveling across the yard (or hopefully into the neighbor's) to land. It felt like a losing battle– so many more leaves on the trees! The war of autumn is to keep the leaves on the dirt, where they can benefit the trees and slowly return to dust.
And it's like the battle of life against death– the dark cover that blinds, chokes, and deceives being pushed back to let the Light in. But in this world, the mower doesn't always seem to be doing its job. Death rules...doesn't it?
Oh, but not for long! After fall's leaves and winter's snow have been pushed back we WILL see the sun. Darkness lost its power and dominion. Oh death, where is now thy sting?
We are free.
On News and Brave Conversations
I woke up to bad news today, from the Middle East, from the White House, and from my home state– Oregon. It's hard to "rise and shine and give God the glory" when I know what's falling around the world.
I also awoke to a gnawing realization of a hard conversation I needed to initiate.
Why is it so hard to believe God is good when difficult days arrive? And WHY are difficult days so common?
The logical end of it all MUST be that I truly believe that God should only bless and prosper me, and the entire world. Strange, since just days ago I was wondering how it is that God doesn't only curse and strike down us humans...
And that conversation went well. Reconciliation was found. We only scratched the surface of the crust on our hearts, but it was a beginning. We'll keep on cleaning.
The reward for our bravery was hope. Isn't that what relationships are for? To point each other upward to the Hope, remind each other why we breathe, and love as we have been loved.
Hope as a reward: it multiplies. The more we hope, the more reason we have to hope. And hope is born of trust.
I trust God. I know God is good. I know God is in control. I know He has a plan. So I can hope in Him, and know that tomorrow I can wake up, breathe, and hold on to hope.
And I love God! My heart is made complete only in Him. He is all I need.
Faith, hope, and love. Only God working in me could have produced these results!
Over everything we must love. Love cries out for brave conversations– between man and God and man and man. These require faith and bring hope. And hope brings, in the end, joy.
And who doesn't need joy?
251. Teaching mom to drive (the mower) ;-)
252. Fun last night
253. Friends dressed as nuns
254. Timmy saying sweet things about people
255. Love for and with my big brother!!
256. Prayers for far away people
257. A paper organizing my thoughts and beliefs
258. Elvis downstairs right now– weird...
259. Math. Making. Sense. !!!!!
260. A GREAT EMAIL FROM A PRO PHOTOGRAPHER
I also awoke to a gnawing realization of a hard conversation I needed to initiate.
Why is it so hard to believe God is good when difficult days arrive? And WHY are difficult days so common?
The logical end of it all MUST be that I truly believe that God should only bless and prosper me, and the entire world. Strange, since just days ago I was wondering how it is that God doesn't only curse and strike down us humans...
And that conversation went well. Reconciliation was found. We only scratched the surface of the crust on our hearts, but it was a beginning. We'll keep on cleaning.
The reward for our bravery was hope. Isn't that what relationships are for? To point each other upward to the Hope, remind each other why we breathe, and love as we have been loved.
Hope as a reward: it multiplies. The more we hope, the more reason we have to hope. And hope is born of trust.
I trust God. I know God is good. I know God is in control. I know He has a plan. So I can hope in Him, and know that tomorrow I can wake up, breathe, and hold on to hope.
And I love God! My heart is made complete only in Him. He is all I need.
Faith, hope, and love. Only God working in me could have produced these results!
Over everything we must love. Love cries out for brave conversations– between man and God and man and man. These require faith and bring hope. And hope brings, in the end, joy.
And who doesn't need joy?
251. Teaching mom to drive (the mower) ;-)
252. Fun last night
253. Friends dressed as nuns
254. Timmy saying sweet things about people
255. Love for and with my big brother!!
256. Prayers for far away people
257. A paper organizing my thoughts and beliefs
258. Elvis downstairs right now– weird...
259. Math. Making. Sense. !!!!!
260. A GREAT EMAIL FROM A PRO PHOTOGRAPHER
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Thanksgiving List 221-250
Having a hard day, so pushing onward harder– with thanksgiving!
221. Books I don't like that teach me what I ought to hate
222. The truth of the quote on my wall, and how much it convicts me
223. Party tonight!
224. Enthusiastic people– even on bad days...
225. Friends who read this faithfully (thanks, Es!)
226. Scary news that reminds me to trust
227. Being flexible and ok!
228. A hilarious little brother
229. Writing assignments
230. TV shows that I love
231. An afternoon with my little brother
232. Live woodwind trips downstairs
234. Blowing bubbles with Mom
235. Not living a normal life
236. A mom who cares that much
237. Bad days don't last forever
238. Bad days bring dependence on Him
239. A new CD from my favorite singer that I like even more than any before!
240. Waking up refreshed
241. My cold not being bad
242. A friend to be honest with
243. The mower stopped– thankful for quiet
244. Tears, hunger, sickness, just like a baby– I need Him
245. Dad listening quietly and speaking softly what I need to hear
246. Dad making room for us
247. Dad working on his off days to create something for the Navy and the example he sets (can't I be diligent, too?)
248. I can CHOOSE to enjoy today
249. John taking the ASVAB tomorrow
250. Hope– it's always there
221. Books I don't like that teach me what I ought to hate
222. The truth of the quote on my wall, and how much it convicts me
223. Party tonight!
224. Enthusiastic people– even on bad days...
225. Friends who read this faithfully (thanks, Es!)
226. Scary news that reminds me to trust
227. Being flexible and ok!
228. A hilarious little brother
229. Writing assignments
230. TV shows that I love
231. An afternoon with my little brother
232. Live woodwind trips downstairs
234. Blowing bubbles with Mom
235. Not living a normal life
236. A mom who cares that much
237. Bad days don't last forever
238. Bad days bring dependence on Him
239. A new CD from my favorite singer that I like even more than any before!
240. Waking up refreshed
241. My cold not being bad
242. A friend to be honest with
243. The mower stopped– thankful for quiet
244. Tears, hunger, sickness, just like a baby– I need Him
245. Dad listening quietly and speaking softly what I need to hear
246. Dad making room for us
247. Dad working on his off days to create something for the Navy and the example he sets (can't I be diligent, too?)
248. I can CHOOSE to enjoy today
249. John taking the ASVAB tomorrow
250. Hope– it's always there
On Moving...
Today they are moving! My dear relatives are packing up and driving north! And it hurts both them and me, as I remember that kind of pain.
And I got a message from a friend from my hometown. We used to sit on trampolines together and talk, and neither of us would have guessed that we'd both move across the country. Who would have thought so much would change?
What do you hold on to in a world that shifts when you least expect it? How does a structure-loving girl reconcile herself to the fact that things change?
Hard prayers often accompany times like this. Bending my will. Stretching my attitude, but never my faith! Faith is always the last thing to be a problem, and that cannot be any of my doing. God is present, sustaining our faith.
Wow!
(Songs like this help!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4UmIEZLdd0&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Want to join me in praying for my cousins today?
And I got a message from a friend from my hometown. We used to sit on trampolines together and talk, and neither of us would have guessed that we'd both move across the country. Who would have thought so much would change?
What do you hold on to in a world that shifts when you least expect it? How does a structure-loving girl reconcile herself to the fact that things change?
Hard prayers often accompany times like this. Bending my will. Stretching my attitude, but never my faith! Faith is always the last thing to be a problem, and that cannot be any of my doing. God is present, sustaining our faith.
Wow!
(Songs like this help!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4UmIEZLdd0&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Want to join me in praying for my cousins today?
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
On Broken Cisterns (and sisters)...
"For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, And hewn themselves cisterns—broken cisterns that can hold no water."
~Jeremiah 2:13 (NKJV)
There are days when I feel like I can hold nothing. There are days when I feel empty and pointless. There are days when I forsake the Fountain, and find a broken cistern to pour my heart into. I pour my troubles into people, hoping they can uphold me and store my problems for me. I go to things and places for water, instead of the Word. I try to touch lives, and in so doing I crack them!
And this leaves ME broken. A broken sister searching for water from a broken world.
Why? Why is Yahweh not enough for me?
"'Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this,' Says the Lord of hosts, 'If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it.'"
~Malachi 3:10
Ah, so that's it. God tells me to pour in and trust. Give up of myself and trust. Let go and trust. Cease striving and KNOW. (Psalm 46:10) Oh, and HE will fill and bless and restore!
Today, I will give up on the fight to find in myself or my world something good enough to drink of. I will trust Him Who made me. I will strive to lay hold of Him and His promises.
This is a mission to end world thirst.
Want to join me?
~Jeremiah 2:13 (NKJV)
There are days when I feel like I can hold nothing. There are days when I feel empty and pointless. There are days when I forsake the Fountain, and find a broken cistern to pour my heart into. I pour my troubles into people, hoping they can uphold me and store my problems for me. I go to things and places for water, instead of the Word. I try to touch lives, and in so doing I crack them!
And this leaves ME broken. A broken sister searching for water from a broken world.
Why? Why is Yahweh not enough for me?
"'Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this,' Says the Lord of hosts, 'If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it.'"
~Malachi 3:10
Ah, so that's it. God tells me to pour in and trust. Give up of myself and trust. Let go and trust. Cease striving and KNOW. (Psalm 46:10) Oh, and HE will fill and bless and restore!
Today, I will give up on the fight to find in myself or my world something good enough to drink of. I will trust Him Who made me. I will strive to lay hold of Him and His promises.
This is a mission to end world thirst.
Want to join me?
On Pride and Touching Souls...
Back and forth we throw the ball, and with it, our words.
The harder the throws, the harder the words. And the words were our defense against each other, against the fall we thought would come if we gave in.
I left mad, and he followed loving. He took the time to heal the wounds and ask me questions and touch my soul so I could smile again. And I cried! How could I fear to trust him and let my brother see the cracks and broken parts of me?
Pride.
And this pride that threw words between best friends and profaned that evening is the enemy. NOT the brother.
We fight, side-by-side, against everything that would make us fall.
"With shield of faith, and belt of truth,
We'll stand against the Devil's lies.
An army bold, whose battle cry is love,
Reaching out to those in darkness."
~ O Church Arise, by Keith Getty and Stuart Townsend
The harder the throws, the harder the words. And the words were our defense against each other, against the fall we thought would come if we gave in.
I left mad, and he followed loving. He took the time to heal the wounds and ask me questions and touch my soul so I could smile again. And I cried! How could I fear to trust him and let my brother see the cracks and broken parts of me?
Pride.
And this pride that threw words between best friends and profaned that evening is the enemy. NOT the brother.
We fight, side-by-side, against everything that would make us fall.
"With shield of faith, and belt of truth,
We'll stand against the Devil's lies.
An army bold, whose battle cry is love,
Reaching out to those in darkness."
~ O Church Arise, by Keith Getty and Stuart Townsend
Monday, October 22, 2012
Thanksgiving List
Starting here, deep in the list:
185. Chemistry pushes me
186. Things to fill my mind
187. Joplin, Missouri
188. Mike and Dawn Aalbers
189. Mike being OK
190. God using terrible things
191. Friends who listen to me talk about just how scary it was
192. Realizing secret fears to confess and conquer
193. Friends who really understand
194. Healing trips home with my family
195. Being able to eat
196. Pictures making me feel sick, but KNOWING that everything's alright.
197. Waiting to SEE that they're really all better
198. His healing came faster than mine
199. Laughing in the hotel room with my big brother– just like old times
200. The conversations just before it went bad
201. Root beer not making me sick anymore
202. The lemonade the Aalbers brought
203. The smell of cement
204. He made the lemonade at 4 am
205. B's visit
206. USAF museum
207. King's Island
208. Our creek
209. The fish she caught
210. Pastor winking at me when I'm mad– laugh, don't yell.
211. Orange on S =)
212. The book S gave me, and the memories around it
213. Sharing funny times with a good friend
214. Dependable people
215. Not being 100% in control, and NOT NEEDING TO BE
216. Structure
217. Lack of it
218. P laughing at me
219. Lying on the kitchen floor laughing over cookbooks with the little brother
220. Hard conversations that bring healing
185. Chemistry pushes me
186. Things to fill my mind
187. Joplin, Missouri
188. Mike and Dawn Aalbers
189. Mike being OK
190. God using terrible things
191. Friends who listen to me talk about just how scary it was
192. Realizing secret fears to confess and conquer
193. Friends who really understand
194. Healing trips home with my family
195. Being able to eat
196. Pictures making me feel sick, but KNOWING that everything's alright.
197. Waiting to SEE that they're really all better
198. His healing came faster than mine
199. Laughing in the hotel room with my big brother– just like old times
200. The conversations just before it went bad
201. Root beer not making me sick anymore
202. The lemonade the Aalbers brought
203. The smell of cement
204. He made the lemonade at 4 am
205. B's visit
206. USAF museum
207. King's Island
208. Our creek
209. The fish she caught
210. Pastor winking at me when I'm mad– laugh, don't yell.
211. Orange on S =)
212. The book S gave me, and the memories around it
213. Sharing funny times with a good friend
214. Dependable people
215. Not being 100% in control, and NOT NEEDING TO BE
216. Structure
217. Lack of it
218. P laughing at me
219. Lying on the kitchen floor laughing over cookbooks with the little brother
220. Hard conversations that bring healing
Sunday, October 21, 2012
For Monday Mornings...
"Christ, whose glory fills the skies,
Christ, the true, the only light,
Sun of Righteousness, arise,
Triumph o'er the shades of night:
Day-spring from on high, be near:
Day-star, in my heart appear.
Dark and cheerless is the morn
Unaccompanied by thee,
Joyless is the day's return,
Till thy mercy's beams I see;
Till thy inward light impart,
Glad my eyes, and warm my heart.
Visit then this soul of mine,
Pierce the gloom of sin, and grief,
Fill me, Radiancy Divine,
Scatter all my unbelief,
More and more thyself display,
Shining to the perfect day."
~Morning Hymn, by Charles Wesley
Christ, the true, the only light,
Sun of Righteousness, arise,
Triumph o'er the shades of night:
Day-spring from on high, be near:
Day-star, in my heart appear.
Dark and cheerless is the morn
Unaccompanied by thee,
Joyless is the day's return,
Till thy mercy's beams I see;
Till thy inward light impart,
Glad my eyes, and warm my heart.
Visit then this soul of mine,
Pierce the gloom of sin, and grief,
Fill me, Radiancy Divine,
Scatter all my unbelief,
More and more thyself display,
Shining to the perfect day."
~Morning Hymn, by Charles Wesley
On Painful Words and Falling Down Stairs...
So I fell.
Three steps, face first, skirt flying, down the steps at church. The bruises and blood were painful enough, but the words that followed, first from the concernedly annoyed family member and then from me, the angrily hurt one, were worse. Insult to injury.
Leave me alone. Let me pick up my own shreds.
But that's not what we're called to do! No matter how bloody and messy a human's life is, you and I are called to lift them up and sometimes slap them upside the head.
Let not words, or messes, or anger, or fear keep us from pulling up a fallen brother.
No one for himself.
Three steps, face first, skirt flying, down the steps at church. The bruises and blood were painful enough, but the words that followed, first from the concernedly annoyed family member and then from me, the angrily hurt one, were worse. Insult to injury.
Leave me alone. Let me pick up my own shreds.
But that's not what we're called to do! No matter how bloody and messy a human's life is, you and I are called to lift them up and sometimes slap them upside the head.
Let not words, or messes, or anger, or fear keep us from pulling up a fallen brother.
No one for himself.
On Busy Sunday Mornings...
There are people coming over after church, and food needs cooking. The dishes all need to be hand-dried, and the youngest needs to change his clothes for church.
I stand, up to my elbows in suds, and wonder what happened to Sunday– to the Sabbath. Why does it feel so much like a different arrangement of the normal business? What takes the Lord's Day, and turns it into a day for human struggling?
I sit with my family in the pew. We kneel with the rest of the church and confess our sinfulness. I think about how I failed my family, my friends, my Lord, this week. I decide to do better. But again, this day of rest becomes a day of my efforts to achieve...
The guests are gone. I am washing dishes again, and as I plunge every single punch glass beneath the water I feel like that– plunged. Up and down. School tomorrow, and the test this week that could just pull my grade up to an A. Violin lesson tomorrow, and the hope that I'll gain one of those rare approving phrases from my teacher. And Sunday becomes a day to worry about tomorrow.
But my Lord never worried.
And this day– Sunday, is for worship of Him. It should look, and be, different. As a wise friend told my worried self yesterday, I need to think on what is true, over and over again.
Until it changes my conscience!
The only way to know what is true is to read the Word.
And so I read, "Blessed is the man who does this, And the son of man who lays hold on it; Who keeps from defiling the Sabbath, And keeps his hand from doing any evil.” ~Isaiah 56:2
I stand, up to my elbows in suds, and wonder what happened to Sunday– to the Sabbath. Why does it feel so much like a different arrangement of the normal business? What takes the Lord's Day, and turns it into a day for human struggling?
I sit with my family in the pew. We kneel with the rest of the church and confess our sinfulness. I think about how I failed my family, my friends, my Lord, this week. I decide to do better. But again, this day of rest becomes a day of my efforts to achieve...
The guests are gone. I am washing dishes again, and as I plunge every single punch glass beneath the water I feel like that– plunged. Up and down. School tomorrow, and the test this week that could just pull my grade up to an A. Violin lesson tomorrow, and the hope that I'll gain one of those rare approving phrases from my teacher. And Sunday becomes a day to worry about tomorrow.
But my Lord never worried.
And this day– Sunday, is for worship of Him. It should look, and be, different. As a wise friend told my worried self yesterday, I need to think on what is true, over and over again.
Until it changes my conscience!
The only way to know what is true is to read the Word.
And so I read, "Blessed is the man who does this, And the son of man who lays hold on it; Who keeps from defiling the Sabbath, And keeps his hand from doing any evil.” ~Isaiah 56:2
Saturday, October 20, 2012
On Stress and Needing Control...
There were plans, and then there weren't.
I had hoped. I had hoped that everything would be easy and fun and go well and not disappoint anyone. I thought it was impossible anything could go wrong.
But, one day before, the plans flipped. I needed to change my plans, and I DO NOT LIKE CHANGING PLANS!! I don't like the feeling of not being able to control what's going on.
And then my dad stepped in to help. He offered tremendous assistance, and the plans that seemed insurmountable suddenly were okay again. And that was a phenomenal gift.
May I give that gift to someone, today.
A reminder that God calls people who are out of control of some crazy events, and uses them. And that nothing is ever outside of His control.
And you can lose enthusiasm, and you can lose your feeling of security.
But you never lose Him.
I had hoped. I had hoped that everything would be easy and fun and go well and not disappoint anyone. I thought it was impossible anything could go wrong.
But, one day before, the plans flipped. I needed to change my plans, and I DO NOT LIKE CHANGING PLANS!! I don't like the feeling of not being able to control what's going on.
And then my dad stepped in to help. He offered tremendous assistance, and the plans that seemed insurmountable suddenly were okay again. And that was a phenomenal gift.
May I give that gift to someone, today.
A reminder that God calls people who are out of control of some crazy events, and uses them. And that nothing is ever outside of His control.
And you can lose enthusiasm, and you can lose your feeling of security.
But you never lose Him.
Friday, October 19, 2012
This is the beginning...
Hi,
Welcome to my blog: You Shall Speak. Why is it named that? Well, in Jeremiah 1, God tells Jeremiah that He called Jeremiah out as a prophet.
Before he was born.
Jeremiah tells him NO, he is a youth, and cannot speak.
God replies that Jeremiah will do what God tells him to, go where He tells him, and say what He tells him.
"You shall speak."
No, I do NOT claim to be a prophet, and do NOT believe that God still uses prophets, but I DO believe that it is my job to go where I am sent, and in every single word that I say to proclaim to revealed will of God (the Bible).
I love to write, and as I seek to find my voice through and in this blog, I pray that God will direct my words for His glory. He called me out as one of His own before I was born.
Let everything I say please him.
Here I am–send me.
And that is the ultimate prayer for growth. Send me. Send me–here. My home, my neighborhood. I am here.
What shall I say?
"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, oh Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer."
~Psalm 19:14
Welcome to my blog: You Shall Speak. Why is it named that? Well, in Jeremiah 1, God tells Jeremiah that He called Jeremiah out as a prophet.
Before he was born.
Jeremiah tells him NO, he is a youth, and cannot speak.
God replies that Jeremiah will do what God tells him to, go where He tells him, and say what He tells him.
"You shall speak."
No, I do NOT claim to be a prophet, and do NOT believe that God still uses prophets, but I DO believe that it is my job to go where I am sent, and in every single word that I say to proclaim to revealed will of God (the Bible).
I love to write, and as I seek to find my voice through and in this blog, I pray that God will direct my words for His glory. He called me out as one of His own before I was born.
Let everything I say please him.
Here I am–send me.
And that is the ultimate prayer for growth. Send me. Send me–here. My home, my neighborhood. I am here.
What shall I say?
"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, oh Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer."
~Psalm 19:14
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