Humbled and Inspired

Hiya!

It's been a while, hasn't it?  Sorry.

This past month, I've been to two funerals.  One was for a three day-old baby, and one was for my fourty-nine year old aunt.  Both deaths were unexpected and shocking.  Both have changed me. 

Now, my deepest heart is still the same as always--I believe in the One Who is in control of all things, and so I cannot be shaken. However, I have been effected in two ways: I have been humbled, and I have been inspired.

I have been humbled.  Augustine said that everyone must either "be humble, or be humbled," and I admit the second is the one that describes me recently.  I saw through these events how truly "out of control" of the important things I am, and that I need God.  One night last week, I lay awake late, and cried out to God how much I needed Him merely to exist.  I realized more clearly than ever before how much I am held together by my Shepherd.  As soon as I admitted that, I felt such peace--even in the middle of pain.  I pray that I will stay humble, so I won't need to be humbled again.  I like this dependency, and I like realizing how dependent I am.

I have been inspired.  I truly believe this goes hand-in-hand with humility.  Having let go of my desire to be amazing or impressive in and of my own strength, I'm ready to use my gifts for God.  I'm ready to charge into whatever He puts in front of me, knowing that His strength will support me.  The deck is stacked in my favor when I do things His way.  I'm really excited about this, and will be sharing what God leads me to do on here.  I think it'll involve some domesticity.

Best foot forward!

Rachel