Before I even begin today, I am tempted to give up. Or rather, try to give up– I've never been allowed the privilege of being a quitter. This new math equation, it isn't impossible, it isn't even too hard to use, but I don't understand it. And I cannot handle not being able to know WHY.
Why is it written that way?
And that is the question that haunts me all the time: why is it written that way? What is the point of the story of my life having these ups and downs, and why did God write it this way?
"One can imagine a sentient picture, after being rubbed and scraped and re-commenced for the tenth time, wishing that it were only a thumb-nail sketch whose making was over in a minute. In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less.”
~C.S. Lewis
I cannot wish this math away. I cannot speed through the day without feeling anything. I cannot make the cuts on my hand quit aching. But I can remember: This is part of God's love for me. He is sanctifying me and rewriting the story of my life. To ask this away is to ask for His love to lessen.
"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;" (Philippians 1:6 NKJV)
And therein lies my hope for today.
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